Its been a while to say the least.
The last time I mused here was in Dublin airport just as summer was beginning, and now, here we are again as this summer comes to a close.
When I had said the final goodbyes to my Late Night Crew, sitting in Detroit airport, the feeling of utter shock and sadness washing over me in waves with tears streaming down my face, trying in someway not to hyperventilate as kind strangers came over to see if I was ok, I wrote the following post. Some of it may be cheesey or seem over the top but I want you to know that it comes from a place of genuine appreciation.
In Dublin, the person who was writing here was full of anxiety of the unknown, nervous for what was to come, not sure really what I had signed up for when I had signed my contract those many months prior. Looking back now, those nerves were valid but also not necessary. Much of the promotional fluff that is spouted to encourage internationals to come to work at a summer camp is that you’ll have a summer of a lifetime or that you’ll meet some of your closest friends, or that the kids will be x, y or z. I was rather skeptical and a little reserved, not wanting to get my hopes up for them to be dashed or just not what I had expected
Honestly, I have met some of the most special, unique, creative and talented individuals this summer. I thought I was going to be surrounded by a bunch of 18 year olds who were going to be super loud, and all that I am not really about. How wrong I was!! The Lookout staff were such a genuine, caring crew that took everyones needs and personality into consideration. The kids in the daylight hours and then when staff snack rolled around post 10:15 pm there was all the cuddles one could need, joking, smearing of or hiding of toothpaste, eating far too many left-overs and cereal, lying looking at the stars and overall staying up too late just because we enjoyed each other’s company. This is just to list a few of our antics to say the least.
The opportunity to live, work, play, hang out and all the things in-between for the last 2.5 months has been such a pleasure. Being around these people practically 24/7 for this amount of time makes me lost for words when I try to type what it really means to me. Not to be dramatic or anything but I don’t think I’ve had a sadder goodbye in a long time if not ever. Maybe its the fact that again I’m leaving friends to be spread all over the world, not knowing when I’ll get to see them in the physical or maybe it was the knowledge of the ending of our little bubble. The deep rooted emotional connections and friendships that grew in this little place between Lower Herring Lake and Lake Michigan will always hold such a special place in my heart and memories. It makes my soul sore when I think of how fast it has gone by! It feels like only yesterday I was rambling on about banana bread to you, and now here we are.
Back to present day, with not long to go till arriving in New York.
My heart strings tug when I hear that song
To think about when we had stars over our heads and songs in our ears
filling the dining room at all hours
we stamp our feet becuase he was a big bold man, with no one in our red wagons.
Laping of water against the wooden sides of the voyager,
a softness to the air that is warm and sweet with wind rustling the leaves through the trees,
filling my lungs,
as we breath, whispering in the dark of the night not to be heard above
Sand fills every crevice, smoothing our feet and filling pockets
Tears I have shed,
for laughter, for love, for the depths I did not know I possessed.
Rolling down now freckled cheeks
salty, foreign to that of Micgiagn waters
My heart strings have been pulled tight,
and will do now when I think of that we all had.